Love Magic: How to Attract
Your Perfect Partner for Passion, Profession or Play by Keith Varnum
The Myths that Keep Us from Love
Are society's relationship myths causing you to give up on love or settle for
less than what you want?
Most of the people who taught us about love are people who don't let
themselves be loved. Hello? What's wrong with this picture? A little wacky,
yes? Yes!
In truth, is there any good reason to withhold love from yourself? The
accurate answer is "No!" Let's do a Reality Check on love.
Myth No.1 - You have to work at having a good
relationship.
Reality: A relationship that is good for you does not take work.
If you have so many problems and disharmonies in a partnership
that it feels like work to stay involved, then the person is not
right for you. Differences of opinion, style and preference
should be a source of intrigue and attraction, not a quagmire of
argument and conflict.
Myth No.2 - Negotiation, compromise and sacrifice are
necessary
for two people to have a successful partnership.
Reality: Not every day! Frequent negotiation, compromise and
sacrifice are warning signs of a doomed relationship. If you
find yourself having to negotiate, compromise or sacrifice more
than once a week to keep your partnership going, that
relationship has too many natural disharmonies to be right for
you, or the other person. Fun, nurturing, lasting partnerships
are based on natural mutuality-an organic harmony of traits and
values that already exist before the two people meet, not after
they both give up their spirit to "make things work." If a
relationship is hard, troublesome and requires a lot of struggle
and effort, guess what? No amount of communication or counseling
is going to make that connection easy, fun or fruitful.
Myth No.3 - All the good ones are taken.
Reality: Every single person has a special, perfect someone
waiting for them. The togetherness we long for is assured. We
have pre-arranged with one, or more, personal soulmates to meet
this lifetime in order to help each other open to love. All you
need to do is remove the living room couch, refrigerator and
kitchen sink from blocking the front door to your house (heart)
so that your destined lover can get in!
Myth No.4 - You can borrow good qualities from your
"better half."
Reality: You can for a while. But you need to quickly become-rather than
borrow-those good qualities. Otherwise, you're dependent on the other person
for the better qualities. Enjoy intimacy as a mutual exchange of energy
between interdependent equals. Address your flaws, and become the type of
person you'd like to date. The Law of Attraction rules in seeking a partner.
Like vibration attracts like vibration. If you possess the qualities that you
want in a partner, the law of attraction will work for you.
Myth No.5 - If I can just change my partner's behavior,
things will be better.
Reality: Famous last words! YOU can't change other people. They
need to evolve on their own path at their own pace. Besides, you
are always dating yourself anyway! In truth, your partner is
solely-souly-a liberating mirror reflection of your own
consciousness. You must change your inside world for the outside
world to improve. You are always meeting yourself in others. If
you're not happy with the type of person you are attracting,
take a look at the type of person you are.
Myth No.6 - A member of the opposite sex-or energy-will
balance me out.
Reality: Being balanced is an inside job. Fuse the forces of
your feminine and masculine energies to tap your full potential.
Cultivate playfulness, laughter and self-revealing humor. Invite
serendipity and surprise to reveal your other side. Welcome the
unexpected and spontaneous from yourself!
Myth No.7 - I have to take what I get; I can't be
choosy.
Reality: Invoke the basic Feng-shui Law of the Vacuum: You must
be willing to walk away from what you don't want so that you can
be available (empty, receptive, open) for what you do want. The
next perfect partner for you can't come into your life if your
love space is filled with someone you are tolerating, settling
for, or simply using to avoid loneliness.
Myth No.8 - I'm stuck with a lousy Love Script.
Reality: You can re-write your Personal Love Theme with a better
ending. Choose to be innocent (free) of the effect of the past.
Performing an autopsy on a failed relationship can be a very
valuable tool in helping you understand which areas you need to
work on to be more successful in your next relationship. Then be
willing to acquire or develop the skills and qualities required
to help you be more successful in your next connection.
Myth No.9 - I have to give up my personal freedom to be
in a
committed relationship. Love = Ball & Chain.
Reality: Real love and freedom go hand in hand. In a soulmate
connection based on the optimal spiritual evolution of each
party, you can maintain personal freedom while opening to
profound intimacy. Give your commitment and trust to the spirit,
rather than the form, of the relationship. Sometimes lack of
communication is the culprit, if you view a partnership as
bondage. Identify the amount of space you need to be happy in a
relationship and learn how to communicate your desire to your
partner.
Myth No.10 - Because of "Original Sin," I don't deserve
love.
Reality: Original Sin was actually only an Original
Misunderstanding. The so-called Original Sin we committed was
that we thought we were separate from God. Turns out we 're not.
The Good News is that we were wrong. There is no bad news.
Myth No.11 - Relationships take time, energy, effort and
hard
work.
Reality: The only work involved is keeping love away. We spend
countless hours and effort successfully dodging love at every
point of contact in our lives. Every encounter with another
human being is an opportunity to receive love-in the form of
kindness, generosity, a warm handshake or a shared laugh. Right
relationships give you energy. Lousy relationships drain your
energy.
Myth No.12 - If I open my heart, my partner can hurt my
feelings.
Love = Pain.
Reality: Other people cannot hurt our feelings; they can only
trigger feelings that are already hurt within us. The hurt
feelings are already present in our consciousness-in our past,
our personality, our programming. In truth, your partner is
doing you a big favor by bringing up a wound, a sore spot,
within a loving context-for the purpose of healing and releasing
it. It's not possible to avoid hurt feelings in life or a
relationship. But you can use the support of real love to move
the hurt feelings up and out.
Myth No.13 - Another person can "fill the hole" we feel
inside.
Reality: Temporarily at best! Only you can permanently "fulfill
the whole" within yourself. Helpfully, for a while, a partner
can remind you of what it feels like to feel loved and whole.
Then if you surf that wave of connection, you can arrive at the
shore of lasting self-love.
Myth No.14 - It's best to hide your Shadow from the
other person.
Reality: It's best to reveal your weaknesses and faults as soon
as possible. It's not called "in-to-me-see" for nothing. There's
no way to get close to someone and not have your whole self
eventually revealed. Learn to dance with your Dark Side. Learn
to love everything about your unique self-the whole enchilada,
warts and all. The American Plains Indians revealed their worst
deficiencies and flaws on their warrior shields. They knew that
acknowledging the truth of our shortcomings gives us strength.
Full self-acceptance is our greatest asset.
Myth No.15 - If I just loose weight, I'll attract the
lover of
my dreams.
Reality: Weight has nothing to do with exercise, genes, diet or
how much we eat. Maintaining our perfect body weight is a direct
function of the free flow of love in our lives. Weight has
everything to do with our beliefs about exercise, genes, diet or
how much we eat. And our beliefs about exercise, genes, diet or
how much we eat are a direct result of our willingness to have
love flow freely in our lives.
Myth: No.16 - I'm afraid of rejection or abandonment.
Reality: Spread the heartening news: We cannot be rejected by
another person unless we have rejected ourselves first. We leave
love-love never leaves us. This is a good thing. It means we are
in the driver's seat. It means we can open-and keep open-the
door to love anytime we choose. Find a way to move into more
self-acceptance and your days of rejection and abandonment are
history.
Myth No.17 - Relationships are made on Earth.
Reality: Relationship are made in Heaven. Embrace love for what
it truly is: a mystical sacrament and a sensual communion.
Align your description of your Earthly Dream Partner with the
design of your soulmate agreement, and you will find your
Heavenly babe TODAY!
Myth No.18 - I need to marry-or get a formal
commitment-from my
partner to keep them around.
Reality: "Things which go together naturally need not be tied." -Lao Tzu, Chinese sage
Want to know more about the reality of real love that awaits
you? Contact "The Love Doctor'" Keith Varnum at 800.736.7367, or
keith@thedream.com,
for your Free Love Analysis
About
the Author
Drawing from
the wisdom of native and ancient spiritual traditions, Keith Varnum shares his
30 years of practical success as an author, personal coach, acupuncturist,
filmmaker, radio host, restaurateur, vision quest guide and international
seminar leader (The Dream Workshops). Keith helps people get the love, money
and health they want with his FREE “Prosperity Ezine” at
www.TheDream.com.
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